Yesterday was one year since my friend Amanda died. Hard to believe that a year has passed, and still harder to believe that she has in fact gone. Acceptance will come with time. Understanding, I am really not sure....
I felt really sad yesterday, imagining the suffering she went through, the grief of her family. I felt angry again that someone as good as her had to die so young. Only 34 years old.
I miss her so much, it really hurts. I have her photo on my fridge, and each time I see her I smile, but inside I also feel really sad. A mixed bag of emotions.
I just hope I never forget the times we spent together. My fear is that over time, I'll start to forget the moments we shared. This year I've not kept in physical contact with mutual friends we had. Possibly a defence mechanism on my part, part of the denial I have. There was 4 of us, who were close at uni - Monty lives in SF now, and Rani is still here in Sydney. In some ways, it's easier for me, that we don't see each other, even though the healthier thing is for us to stay in touch more often and support each other.
When Amanda died, this sounds so corny, but a part of me changed. This past year has really been a confusing one for me. The future is so uncertain now. Tomorrow everything could change. I can't see any point in dwelling on trivialities, and nor can I understand or accept the selfishness of others.
After suffering severe headaches, dizziness and nausea myself for the past 1.5 months, my CT scan this morning came up clear. Relieving news. The test revealed a sinus problem, which was not unexpected.
However, I still miss Amanda, and wish that things were different.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Saturday, December 03, 2005
So much to do, so little time!
All week, I've had what feels like tension headaches or perhaps it is sinus pain, that has made me feel a bit discombobulated (love that word) and out of sorts. I think much of it is related to the amount of work I have to do before my trip OS. It's all good though, but I just have so much to fit in these next few weeks that I might go a bit stir crazy....
The Bat Mitzvah video was "locked-off" on Wednesday afternoon. BIG YAY. "Locked-off" means that the edit I have done with the low-resolution images and dodgey graphics and effects I add into the program has been approved by the client, and it's on to the next stage with the "online edit" where everything I have done is re-created at high resolution with the finished effects etc. Can't believe I've spent over 3 weeks on what is essentially someone's home video. Pete at work, is the compositor finishing the project, so I will have to sort of oversee that as well. Thank god, Jon is involved as the designer, so he can supervise it as well....
Started editing a short film during the week called "Checkpoint", which is one of those government funded films. Script is really good, about racial tension and has some known actors in it including Alex Dimitriades, Kate Raison and Brett Stiller. Going to spend most of my time next week on it, so that's good. I'm a bit nervous however, as I've never worked with the director and I always get butterflies on new collaborations. The coverage for the film looks a bit sparse though, as they had some shocking wet weather days last week on the shoot, plus some of the actors arrived late which blew out the schedule.
Officially, I've got 4 jobs to complete before Christmas - a corporate video for Bluescope Steel (snore), some more Smackdonalds campains for the UK market, a funny commercial for Triple M Melbourne, and a charity job for The Buttery, a drug and alcoholic rehab centre based in Byron Bay. I'm looking forward to that one, as it's with a new director I worked with a few weeks ago, and he's come back to me. Snaps for Andy!
Also, my good mate Pete is making a short film for Tropfest, so I have to cut that before I go on holidays! Awmygawdd.....don't know how the fluck I'm gonna fit it in....but I will :) It's such a great script, and up until "Checkpoint" this week, I had not edited any drama at all this year so......
Something else fell into my lap the other day. I got a call from someone who used to work at film school, asking me if I was interested in and available to re-edit a low-budget feature film. I won't say what film it is, but it's been sitting on the shelf for quite some time after it received a significant amount of publicity while it was being shot. They had allocated 2 weeks to re-edit this film at another facility, with an insulting editing salary. I told them that I was interested however, although I wouldn't be available until next year.....Even though it turns out I was recommended by someone I trust, I'm a bit hesitant because if they are asking for a re-edit, there must be something wrong with the film. Could be a case of trying to polish a turd......But the experience could be fantastic, and if I end up re-cutting the film brilliantly, and it gets released and does reasonably well....well, who knows what it could do for my future prospects?
The Bat Mitzvah video was "locked-off" on Wednesday afternoon. BIG YAY. "Locked-off" means that the edit I have done with the low-resolution images and dodgey graphics and effects I add into the program has been approved by the client, and it's on to the next stage with the "online edit" where everything I have done is re-created at high resolution with the finished effects etc. Can't believe I've spent over 3 weeks on what is essentially someone's home video. Pete at work, is the compositor finishing the project, so I will have to sort of oversee that as well. Thank god, Jon is involved as the designer, so he can supervise it as well....
Started editing a short film during the week called "Checkpoint", which is one of those government funded films. Script is really good, about racial tension and has some known actors in it including Alex Dimitriades, Kate Raison and Brett Stiller. Going to spend most of my time next week on it, so that's good. I'm a bit nervous however, as I've never worked with the director and I always get butterflies on new collaborations. The coverage for the film looks a bit sparse though, as they had some shocking wet weather days last week on the shoot, plus some of the actors arrived late which blew out the schedule.
Officially, I've got 4 jobs to complete before Christmas - a corporate video for Bluescope Steel (snore), some more Smackdonalds campains for the UK market, a funny commercial for Triple M Melbourne, and a charity job for The Buttery, a drug and alcoholic rehab centre based in Byron Bay. I'm looking forward to that one, as it's with a new director I worked with a few weeks ago, and he's come back to me. Snaps for Andy!
Also, my good mate Pete is making a short film for Tropfest, so I have to cut that before I go on holidays! Awmygawdd.....don't know how the fluck I'm gonna fit it in....but I will :) It's such a great script, and up until "Checkpoint" this week, I had not edited any drama at all this year so......
Something else fell into my lap the other day. I got a call from someone who used to work at film school, asking me if I was interested in and available to re-edit a low-budget feature film. I won't say what film it is, but it's been sitting on the shelf for quite some time after it received a significant amount of publicity while it was being shot. They had allocated 2 weeks to re-edit this film at another facility, with an insulting editing salary. I told them that I was interested however, although I wouldn't be available until next year.....Even though it turns out I was recommended by someone I trust, I'm a bit hesitant because if they are asking for a re-edit, there must be something wrong with the film. Could be a case of trying to polish a turd......But the experience could be fantastic, and if I end up re-cutting the film brilliantly, and it gets released and does reasonably well....well, who knows what it could do for my future prospects?
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